Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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