my sisters under your porch take her home
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
