you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
