I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
