So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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