so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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