Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
