her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
