it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize