yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
