I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
