Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
