a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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