at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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