I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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