How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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