Me too!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
