There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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