she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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