Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
where are you?
Hypothermia
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
