no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think I won the penis lottery.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
