I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
