Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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