Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you never un-have a 4some
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
