yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
