if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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