Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just threw up on my dentist
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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