I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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