Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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