road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
