i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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