Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
