I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
