its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
