I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
