My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
