I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
