Do you still have your period?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
