I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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