you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
