Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
