I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
