You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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