get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
