how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
