whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
