i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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