maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
