some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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