i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
