I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
