If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The power of my boobs compel you
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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