I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
