i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
