hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
