Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize