I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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