why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
