She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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