He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have tasted many bathrooms
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
