I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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