it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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