Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
