I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize