dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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